Homemade Tia Maria

The Lush: So, I am difficult to satisfy… I really enjoy Kahlua, especially in white-Russians, but, but… well, two things: 1) For me, it is way way too sweet, and 2) although I never think of it while I drink, it has lots of caffeine and that messes with my sleep (call me neurotic!).

What to do? When in doubt, visit the Google. It turns out that there are many coffee liquor recipes online. I reviewed several and narrowed down what seemed to me the relevant essentials:

► Strong coffee - extra strong because what you start out with gets diluted in the process.

► Strong alcohol – it needs to be relatively high Proof so as not to dilute the coffee too much.

► The higher the quality of what goes in, the better the result.

► It has to age – I was very sorry to arrive at this conclusion, but it was unavoidable.

I also learned from online recipes that Tia Maria is more or less Kahlua made with rum instead of vodka. Having a thing for rum and wanting to take advantage of the availability of 151 proof rum, I decided to start out with an attempt at home made Tia Maria. I made sure to get freshly roasted decaf beans from a local roaster.

Here’s what went into it:

2 1/3 C Decaf coffee, several batches of stove-top espresso from freshly roasted beans

1 1/6 C 151 proof rum, I used Cruzan (not sure what else is out there apart from Bacardi)

1/2 C Brandy, I used St Remy

1 Tbsp Vanilla extract, the best I could find

3 Tbsp Sugar (this is much less than any recipe I came across; I did not want it very sweet)

Mix the sugar into the hot coffee and let cool to room temperature. Add everything else and mix well. Pour into a bottle and store in dark cool place. Shake once a day for the first month.

Now what? How long will I wait? Recipes that call for aging vary in their recommendation from a month to 6 months (!). I have managed to wait a week so far, but must disclose that I only managed that thanks to having 4 quarts of stuff and only 3-quart bottles to put it in and designating the bottle with the little bit of extra stuff a tasting bottle. I have now tasted the last drop from the tasting bottle (delicious)… My goal was to wait at least the one month and I may be able to manage two, since I’ll be out of town for a while. I should add that even over the one week to date, time does seem to be making a noticeable difference; it’s getting smoother, the flavors blending. If I live long enough and don’t pilfer along the way, I’ll have a bottle of delicious, not too sweet, 54 proof decaffeinated coffee liqueur in a few very long weeks.

Honey Vanilla and Lavender Ice Cream

The Vegetarian: The KitchenAid Stand mixer, along with its pasta maker and ice cream maker attachments, had been on my wish list for years. I finally got my very own mixer for my wedding a couple of years ago. As happy as I was to finally have this dream gadget, I never used the ice cream maker. While that may seem trivial, to me, the apathy I felt towards my shiny red mixer and its attachments was a symbol of the lack of joy I felt in my marriage. A wife who loves to cook but finds no joy in cooking for her husband is not a happy wife. The marriage has since ended and while I wait for my divorce to become final I feel the joy returning to my life, a little more every day. So many things that were part of who I am, like cooking, were pushed aside and are now, thankfully, coming back to life. So, in this context, the ice cream maker's coming out of the cupboard party was no small thing.

I'm not sure how the omnivore and I decided on lavender ice cream but it was a quick and unanimous decision. We looked up recipes online and chose two that sounded good. We ended up choosing the epicurious recipe because 1) it had a higher ratio of heavy cream to half and half than the other one and we feel ice cream should never be a low fat food and 2) it asked for a more reasonable amount of lavender flowers. We made the right choice. The texture of this ice cream is creamy and perfect and we have decided it will be the base of any future flavor we try out. The lavender, honey, and vanilla were a perfect combination, enhancing each other without any one flavor being overwhelming. Our first try at ice cream was a success!

So, what about that pasta maker? Well, the next meal I have planned for me and the omnivore (she doesn't know this yet....) will include rosemary focaccia and homemade pasta (to be tossed in the omnivore's delicious pesto). Yum.

To cooking! To life! To joy!

Recipe (slight variation on an epicurious recipe):

2 cups heavy cream

1 cup half and half

2/3 cup mild honey

3 heaping tablespoons dried edible lavender flowers

1 1/2 tablespoon vanilla

2 large eggs

1/8 teaspoon salt

Preparation:

Bring cream, half and half, honey, and lavender to a boil in a heavy saucepan over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, then remove pan from heat. Let steep, covered, for 30 minutes.

Pour cream mixture through a fine sieve into a bowl and discard lavender. Return mixture to cleaned saucepan and heat over moderate heat until hot.

Whisk together eggs and salt in a large bowl, then add 1 cup hot cream mixture in a slow stream, whisking. Pour into remaining hot cream mixture in saucepan and cook over moderately low heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until thick enough to coat back of spoon, about 5 minutes (mixture should be at about 170-175 degrees). Do not let the mixture boil.

Pour custard through sieve into cleaned bowl and cool completely, stirring occasionally. Chill, covered, for at least 3 hours (we recommend ensuring the mixture chills throughout by placing the bowl in an ice bath and placing it in the fridge).

Transfer ice cream to ice cream maker, churn for 30 minutes, then transfer to air tight container and freeze overnight.

* Custard can chill up to one day before freezing

* Ice cream keeps for one week

* Please be sure to do what I never do which is read instructions. The ice cream maker we used has to be put in the freezer for at least 15 hours before churning

Calabaza & Zucchini Latkes

The omnivore: When I first asked Ari what latkes were, she said "like hash-browns". And they really are. I offered to make the basic potatoes and onions version while Ari made others from sweet potatoes for Hanukkah; they were so good I had the leftovers for breakfast the next day. The thing is, they can be made out of almost anything. Soooooo, inspired by a menu item at Red Light, we decided that calabaza and zucchini would make a great latke.

1/4 lb. calabaza

1 zucchini

1 small onion

1 egg

2 tablespoons of flour

Butter

Grate the calabaza, the peeled zucchini and the small onion. Mix in a bowl. To this we add the egg (scrambled) and about two tablespoons of flour. Mix till it looks like mashed potatoes. Heat the pan and melt enough butter to coat the pan. Make sure butter is really hot before you spoon the batter in. Grab about a 1/4 cup at a time and flatten like a pancake. You'll get about 10-12 latkes. Serve immediately with a dollop of sour cream if desired.

We paired it with a salad for a complete meal. Ari ate four... I ate the other eight.

Red Light

7700 Biscayne Boulevard

Miami, FL 33138

(305) 757-7773

www.redlightmiami.com

What we ordered: spicy red bean soup with guajillo sour cream, citrus growers dream salad (orange-grapefruit, toasted pecans and crumbled goat cheese), spice rubbed-river smoked ribs & apple slaw, an apple wood, bacon-fontina grill cheese sandwich, mac & cheese, and steamed veggies.

The Omnivore:

I labored for two days trying to write about this place. Why did I enjoy that night even though we had to sit at the bar for dinner, ordered bad drinks we sipped for an hour before we had our first bite of food, and got served often disappointing courses. I scrapped my nearly finished post to hopefully write a deeper impression. Stepping inside, it was as if we were meeting at that joint we had gone to for years for a casual drink and a meal, though we had never been there before. It doesn't look new or trendy, the music is loud, and the kitchen smokey and crowded. Hungry and expectant, we looked excitedly at the menu and began to discuss our choices. We ate for two-and-a-half hours because everything takes a while to get to you. First came a salad that was o.k. and the soup which was tasteless and cold. But after a few grumbles of disappointments, I realized I didn't really mind. Between courses we struck up conversations with those seating around us at the bar, commented on almost every song from an amazing soundtrack that played everyone from Dolly Parton to bebe and Bob Marley, and gazed at the open kitchen wondering whose labor of love this was. Then came the tastiest ribs I have ever had: perfectly smokey and sweet, I allowed only one rib to escape to one of my hungry companions. I wasted little time on anything else but for that grilled cheese sandwich. Dam that was good! Two slices of chunky bread with melted cheese and bacon. I ate and ate... and ate. I felt quite the glutton among my more descent companions who were sharing this meal. Then we lost it with dessert. Pictured above is the wonderful memory of a hot peach cobbler with ice-cream just before its demise. Confident of the chef's baking skills, we ordered chocolate cake. It did not disappoint. As I walked out slightly embarrassed at the amount of food I had consumed, thoughts of friends that would enjoy this place for one reason or another came to mind. For now, I could not share it with the one I most wanted to, but with those I was supposed to.

What else you need to know?: Don't drive by too fast or you'll miss it. Parking is valet only at $5. Seating IS limited inside to booths, bar, or a few tables outside by the canal...I mean river. The full but "humble" bar, serves a nice assortment of Caribbean beers and specialty drinks. The menu changes often... every couple of days according to the bartender.

Why go?: Good food, good price, great atmosphere. Besides, where else are you going to find a New York Times lauded restaurant housed in a motel next to a canal (excuse me, river) and a strip joint.

The Vegetarian:

"Spit it out! It has bacon!" That was my first bite at Red Light. Ah, the life of the vegetarian foodie....The bartender assured us the spicy red bean soup was vegetarian and made without chicken broth but she neglected to mention it had bacon. There went one of the three dishes I could eat. Slightly traumatized I moved on to my next option, the Citrus Grower's Dream salad. I imagined something very different when we ordered it, like, I don't know, lots of citrus. I guess I shouldn't have presumed to know what citrus growers dream of. Based on this salad, their dreams are made of little arugula leaves. Maybe I misunderstood and this was an ironic commentary on the recent cold front that destroyed Florida's citrus trees leaving the growers to dream of other crops while rationing out what little citrus they could salvage. Anyway, the salad was certainly fresh and tasty but it was nothing like what I expected. I moved on to my third dish - the home potatoes. These reminded me of the meat and potato hash my mom used to make (a long time ago, when I still ate meat). She would cut up leftover meat (steak, I think) and potatoes into perfect little cubes and fry them in a skillet. These looked just like her potatoes. The touch of rosemary was nice and subtle but the potatoes were a little oily. I was still hungry and I was determined to find at least one dish that would justify Frank Bruni's description of Red Light as "a modest restaurant of immodest pleasures". While my omnivore friends were eating pork in various formations, I ordered the steamed vegetables (boring, I know....) and the mac and cheese. The asparagus was perfect - thin, fresh, and crunchy. The mac and cheese was good but not cheesy enough.

I was finally full although not exactly satisfied. That is, until the blueberry and peach cobbler arrived. All I can say is, that thing was gone in less than three minutes (we have witnesses). So, to sum it up: If you like pork and dessert, prefer wine and beer to cocktails [unless your idea of a margarita is tequila and (very) sour mix], and don't mind spending two and a half hours eating, this is the place for you. If you are a vegetarian, do what I refused to do and ask the server to allow the chef to whip up a vegetarian dish for you; maybe you'll have better luck than I did.

Why go?

- The menu changes everyday so you never know what you'll get; that's kind of exciting

- To chat with fellow diners at the bar

- To play 'I Spy' a manatee while waiting for your turn at the restroom

- Dessert